And the Mominees Are...
The essential companion to today's Oscar noms!
It's the most wonderful time of the year! Oscar nominations are out today! I’m writing this in the past (Monday night), a strange, cold world where we had slightly less information than we do “now” (Tuesday morning) about whether 2023 was the year of the Scorsese comeback that didn’t pass the Bechdel test, plastic feminism, the long-winded biopic that didn’t pass the Bechdel test, or something else entirely! But we don't need The Academy to tell us one crucial tidbit about the flock of films in consideration—that they represent some of the wildest, realest, most fascinating portrayals of mothers we've seen in quite a while.
That's right folks, I'm calling it here and now, 2023 WAS THE YEAR OF THE MOVIE MOM. And here are my mominations (I can’t help myself, apologies, I promise I’ve changed since last night and would never do something like this again) for the leaders of the pack.
Most Divisive: Sandra Hüller in Anatomy of a Fall
What a fucking movie! From the first moment, you cannot for the life of you figure out whether Sandra Huller’s Sarah is guilty or innocent, selfish or well-boundaried, abusive or enlightened, and of course, a wonderful mom or a terrible one. Watching this movie, I kept thinking that, if it were American, that last dichotomy would have been the most explored, and her motherhood would have been more on trial than it was. Here, being a bad mom, which can change definition as it suits us, is enough to make a woman seem like a clear criminal. I’ve been thinking about what it means to be a wife and mother, and also about 50 Cent, nonstop since I saw this film.
Most Delightfully Ridiculous: Rosamund Pike in Saltburn
Haters gon’ hate, but this movie slays. I have a whole rant about how no one ever accuses male directors, like the Coen brothers, of being “all style and no substance” while this movie and 2022’s equally fun and gorgeous and entertaining Dont Worry Darling got dragged. This film was an absolute blast (picture me, squealing into my frozen junior mints, audibly exclaiming to the whole theater “that was the nastiest thing I’ve ever seen!!!!”), and Pike’s performance as the matriarch of an absurd and somewhat decaying wealthy British family was a huge part of that joy. And it’s true, she got the best lines (“I’ve never wanted to know anything!”). And I’m not alone!
Most Horrifying: Sarah Snook in Run Rabbit Run
I saw this great thriller/horror flick at Sundance and was surprised when it was quietly released on Netflix this summer with little fanfare. It’s full of beautiful Australian landscapes and incredible tension. In the most terrifying scene of this mostly terrifying movie, Sarah (Succession's Sarah Snook) accidentally slams her daughter's hand in a car door. It's a fear every mother has had before and when I watched it, even on a small screen, I almost threw up in my mouth. But what happens next is both more gut-wrenching and more relatable. After tucking her daughter in, she goes back out to the car, opens the door, and slams her own hand in it. This is a movie full of common parental anxieties taken to the next level, and leaves you thinking about the ghosts we pass down to our children.
Most Clearly Written by a Man: Julianne Moore in May December
I really liked a lot of things about this movie — Reggie from Riverdale was fabulous, and so were the teenagers. It got me thinking about love and sex and consent and victims, especially after I read Tracy Clark-Flory’s great post about how the film uses femininity as a guise for abuse. But Julianne Moore’s character, central to the movie’s premise, didn’t feel grounded in reality for me. Not because of the larger choices she makes, but because of the small ones that supposedly build the world of her character. She was, just, everything that someone who hated their mom might dredge up in the creation of a kind-of movie monster. But, you be the judge!
Most Adorably Tipsy: Julia Roberts in Leave the World Behind
I loved this book, and mostly enjoyed this movie, but it had some scenes that really crushed it, where the fabulous cast really shone. Loved the deployment of what my husband called “Chekhov’s Kevin Bacon,” and a well-cast Ethan Hawke is always a treat (remind me to tell you about the time he totally fucked me with his eyes while I was super preggo). But Mahershala Ali and Julia Roberts dancing drunk to Too Close was a moment of movie genius, and throughout the movie, Roberts does a lot of what she does best (be charming, be worried) with an enormous glass of wine in her hand and it just really made me want an enormous glass of wine, and also to dance with Ali to some 90s middle-school dance jams. Keep truckin, Julia!
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Most Forgiven: Claire Foy in All of Us Strangers
Asking whether All of Us Strangers is about falling in love or forgiving your parents for their imperfections is like asking if you see the old lady or the young girl in the gestalt drawing. It all depends on what you're looking for. These days, I happen to be looking for people to confirm that I can fuck up as a mother and both me and my children can survive it. Andrew Haigh's dreamy, tender film is incredibly kind to Foy's sometimes limited matriarch, and allows for a rare portrayal of a mother who sometimes acts badly, but is still deeply worthy of love.
Most Evolving: Luna Lauren Velez in Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse
“Wherever you go from here, you have to promise to take care of that little boy for me.” (GLARB SNOT UGLY CRY BWAAAH!!!). We saw this movie on Father’s Day, and I expected it to be great, but I did not expect it to me make me think so much about the maternal work of letting go and to use your kid secretly being a superhero and the universe (sorry, MULTI-VERSE) being in peril as a way to raise the stakes of that work. When Miles Morales’ mama says that line, in a scene that SHOULD be her Oscar clip, you can literally watch the pain and beauty of her growth, as well as his. I did love the fight scenes, and my kids thought the “Chai tea is just saying tea tea” joke was the absolute funniest thing they’d ever heard, but you and me know it’s REALLY a movie about parenting teenagers.
Most on my still-need-to-see list:
Earth Mama
Smoke Sauna Sisterhood
Four Daughters
Also, this:
On my long holiday flights, after watching two other really great movies from last year, Theater Camp and Polite Society, I saw that Alaska had selections from the Superfest Disability Film Festival for viewing onboard. I watched five very different short films about disabled, all of which featured disabled characters.
My favorite, The Body Is A House of Familiar Rooms, a beautifully half-illustrated meditation on living with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, is available to watch at PBS. And another great one, Ill, Actually which follows three young people with “invisible disabilities,” is also streaming online. Watch them!
Who wants to come to next year’s Superfest with me??? How many other awesome things are happening that I didn’t know about??? (Answer: infinite).
And…have you been listening to my new podcast Mother Culture with Miranda Rake??? We’ve had some really killer episodes already this year: Rebekah Wheeler (no relation, jk) on what we get wrong about birth trauma, Jessica Slice on the wisdom of disabled parenting, and more in the chamber! If you haven’t listened, check us out! And if you’re already a fan, thank you kindly, and please consider joining our Patreon, where we’re adding lots of goodies like a paid-subscribers-only monthly Mother Culture Movie Club episode (this month we’ll be discussing today’s Oscar noms with the sharp-as-a-whip Tracy Clark-Flory!
I loved reading about these movie moms! It's amazing to see how motherhood is portrayed on the big screen. Fantastic writing! 🎬👏