Happy ADHD New Year!

Last night, we did East Coast New Year’s for the kids, then I took a Unisom and passed out at 11:38 next to my five-year-old, waking up several times during the night to curse whoever was snoring, only to realize it was me.

As the ball dropped at midnight, I thought of my ADHD sisters and brothers, the wonderful ball-droppers in all of our lives who keep things interesting while accruing the occasional late fee. This one’s for you.

Happy New Year, ADHDers!

This year,

May every meeting be a memo.

May every kind stranger have change for your twenty, an extra tampon in their pocket, and up-to-date knowledge of where your keys were last seen.

May every athletic competition you watch have the energy and urgency of a game seven NBA Finals, but with fewer time-outs.

May those in charge let you stay up late.

May those in charge let you sleep late.

May that one crooked painting right itself (how can it not be straight at this point??) so you can finish grading those papers.

May the god of rear bumpers visit your driveway and wave her healing hands over all of those cute little love taps you’ve acquired.

May your child’s school stop having share day, or at least have it on the same day each week so that it’s predictable, or if this is not possible, send a reminder in the form of a bright pink poster-sized stickie note that someone hand-delivers to the inside of your front door, or maybe just encourage children to share something that they found on the ground on their way into school, for the love of Pete.

May your meds refill themselves.

May the milk you cannot be bothered to put away stay fresh, perhaps get even fresher.

May every calendar invite include a reminder and the zoom link.

May every book come with Cliffnotes.

May every conversation come with Cliffnotes.

May every important detail be bolded or highlighted.

May all your bills be on autopay.

May the passionate projects you start and then quit dramatically arrange themselves into some kind of performance piece that becomes wildly popular and earns you fabulous amounts of money, which allows you to hire an intern to do all of the parts of your projects that are dumb and annoying and not at all visionary, which is the only reason you quit them in the first place.

May no one give you shade about the abandoned milk. You were going to put it back eventually, obviously, as soon as you...

May your ice cream sundaes include unlimited toppings. May the volume of your music be outrageously high without commentary from others, and the volume of others’ music, watch ticking, sniffling and sneezing, or chewing in a way that seems intended to bother you, be turned way, all the way, down.

May this be the year of the loud-mouthed connection-makers, the gold-spinning day-dreamers.

XOXO

Wheeler

(Just me being myself below…)