Your All-Vibes Guide to the NBA Finals: Part One

You might know

Angela Garbes

as the author of the fabulous books Like a Mother and Essential Labor, as a champion of equity and care, or a columnist on all things mid-life. I know and love her for those things as well, but have the added delight of being her “basketball friend.” What does that mean, exactly? It means that I get to learn from her extensive expertise on the sport, send and receive silly threads with her about the softer sides of the sport and the people who play it, fantasize about one day co-creating an irreverent basketball zine with poet and basketball-lover Sharon Olds, and look at the lovely sketch Angela did of my all time favorite player, Russell Westbrook, on my desk every day.

With Game 2 of the NBA finals approaching tomorrow, I invited Angela to chat with me about the more irreverent aspects of the series. You can read Part 2 of the conversation over at Angela’s lovely Substack, Donita Reason

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Sarah Wheeler: Angela! Welcome to the 2024 NBA Finals Vibescape. I know you pay much better attention to the actual basketball than I do, so if some of that creeps in, I'm cool with it.

First off, I would like to ask, if this Finals match up between the Dallas Mavericks and the Boston Celtics had a theme song, what would it be??

I'm thinking about my Boston boys, and how I would like them to hold it together in the fourth quarter this series, so maybe, One Minute Man??

Angela Garbes: it’s FINAL COUNTDOWN by Europe.

Luka has a map of Europe tattooed on his back with a basketball wearing a crown over it. The song captures his menacing euro vibe. And I think for your Boston boys, it’s about damn time for them to win — they do in fact have something to prove. I would def like to see Jaylen Brown dance to One Minute Man tho. We are aware that Jaylen is dating a 42-year-old woman, yes?

Sarah: I would like to see Jaylen Brown do a lot of things. To me. Sexually. Is Luka menacing, though?? I have always found him to be more like the euro guy who is holding everyone up complaining about some minor thing on the bill at the absinthe bar.

I was vaguely aware of Jaylen’s lady but I would like details. Is she also a Slovenian jewels model like Luka's fiancee???

Angela: Luca’s trash talking is next level gross — like shouting in-game vulgarities at players and fans — maybe not menacing but it makes me uneasy — like he has real rage that could get ugly. Tho he might also be like that Jay Z lyric “you know the type, loud as a motorbike, but wouldn’t bust a grape in a fruit fight”.

Luka very toxic masculinity to me.

Sarah: Same same. FWIW I have heard Jaylen is nice and you are right, he can really dance. So toxic masculinity all around?? Also, Jaylen’s woman has 7 million Instagram followers so she isn't really “in her forties” like you and I are!

Angela: My friend said she is maybe an original video vixen? (Have not done deep dive yet) she does have a child older than Jaylen!! Jaylen is evolved. Celtics do have their own euro toxic masculinity — Porzingis.

Sarah: My daughter, for reasons too long to explain, calls him Mr. Pink. But there are other, weirder versions of masculinity on these teams! Like father and son pair Al (playing) and Tito (adorably cheering at every single game) Horford. And then there's Kyrie! Where do you stand on him??

Angela: somewhere there is video or photos of how Al & Tito arrive at the garden together every home game — adorable. also sometimes al’s son joins so it is 3 generations — al is so pretty, and has been for so long — when you look at Tito & his dancing mother it’s easy to see why.

pretty al and his pretty mom

Whew Kyrie — I’ve maybe never enjoyed being on the fence so much??? I love this era — chill, wise, playing on a less than vet minimum contract, leading, mentoring, talking about basketball as “AN ART SPACE” — so I am rooting for him & vibing with him but I know it will likely be a journey. Doesn’t he seem like he’s a great dad? Where are you on Kyrie??

Sarah: I surprisingly have not been served any Kyrie dad content, though I am a big sucker for Tatum and Deuce stuff.

I'm on the fence too! When Kyrie was on the Celtics and then the Nets, it seemed like a dark time. I'm not for the selfishness and vague anti-Semitism, but I agree that "single, long beaded earring, comparison is the thief of joy quoting" Kyrie is pretty darn delightful. And it's been so so fun to watch him just go for it in these playoffs games and show real, well, joy. There was one moment where one of his teammates, that tall guy, did something stupid and possibly game-losing, like a bad foul or a turnover, and he just like, squeezed his shoulder lovingly. But the vibes for Kyrie in Boston are BAD. There is, as they say, no love lost between his former teammates there and, even more so, the fans. Boston fans are always dangerously close to doing something racist that fills me with shame.

READ PART 2 of the conversation over at Angela Garbes’

Donita Reason

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