Solitude is where I recuperate and rejuvenate. I didn't realize how vital it was to my health until I became a mom and lost easy access to solitude. And as a new mom, I didn't take the time to just be alone because I didn't understand how important it was for me - I am just now really claiming this and my oldest is 12. But I also know loneliness - which for me has only ever appeared when I am amongst people, especially close family - when I feel misunderstood and disconnected.
I did not, absolutely did not, get being alone as a child. My god how I get it now. I will be ecstatically alone for TDay reading Ashon Crawley’s The Lonely Letters.
I remember hearing someone say once that loneliness is feeling alone when you don't want to. I have always been "good" at being alone, in that I'm practiced at it, to the point where I spend most of my spare time alone and generally feel fine with it. Still, I've often felt lonely. The most lonely times have been when I felt misunderstood—or not understood at all—by the people I really wanted to "get" me. Often, those people are actively in the room with me—in conversation with me!—at the time. So really, for me, loneliness has had very little to do with being by myself, and everything to do with not being seen.
Sarah, you have a gift of eloquence like Courtney Martin! Please continue to express it abundantly. I recommend Singh’s essay too. Love, Dennis Dalton
Solitude is where I recuperate and rejuvenate. I didn't realize how vital it was to my health until I became a mom and lost easy access to solitude. And as a new mom, I didn't take the time to just be alone because I didn't understand how important it was for me - I am just now really claiming this and my oldest is 12. But I also know loneliness - which for me has only ever appeared when I am amongst people, especially close family - when I feel misunderstood and disconnected.
I did not, absolutely did not, get being alone as a child. My god how I get it now. I will be ecstatically alone for TDay reading Ashon Crawley’s The Lonely Letters.
I remember hearing someone say once that loneliness is feeling alone when you don't want to. I have always been "good" at being alone, in that I'm practiced at it, to the point where I spend most of my spare time alone and generally feel fine with it. Still, I've often felt lonely. The most lonely times have been when I felt misunderstood—or not understood at all—by the people I really wanted to "get" me. Often, those people are actively in the room with me—in conversation with me!—at the time. So really, for me, loneliness has had very little to do with being by myself, and everything to do with not being seen.