I agree with all of this and included a section on it in my book. We bathed 4 in a tub until we could no longer fit or our kids were over it. I think taking the child's lead is important because there's no need to sexualize bodies in contexts that are not sexual (changing, walking from the shower to your closet, etc). Some of my favorite memories come from the days of running around after a bath with my little brother singing, "the nudies, the nudies, we are the nudies!" So sorry about the Romper column. Major bummer :(
Love that you are bringing your anti-advice column here. There is so much talent at Romper, it's so sad--bring all the good stuff and reconfigure into something new on Substack.
Love this advice and wholeheartedly agree. There is so much shame around being naked and bodies, generally. Particularly as kids get older and their bodies start changing.
I’d rather take their lead, while also gently reminding them that they get to decide when to be naked and who to be naked around. It’s a lot healthier than constantly telling them to cover up or making them feel weird about being naked.
I took a shower with my 5 year old this morning. My 8 and 11 year old no longer do this almost ever. They like their own space in the shower and that’s fine. I do most days, too.
Love this advice column. Sorry about your old one. Really tough to be freelance these days.
I enjoyed reading this, despite having aged out of having a naked child running around (or in her case, sitting on a heat register.) Sorry to hear about your job loss but happy that you've decided to move your Q and A column to Momspreading. Any chance we can access previous columns?
Re the park, or any public place - I just wouldn’t. My worldview is coloured by being a former crime reporter but given everyone has camera phones I think it’s better to be safer in public. Yes most people are generally good but let’s also be safe here.
But full Rudie Nudie at home is fine!
No Rudie Nudie at friends’ houses though - shared baths with supervision are okay but nothing too silly and full on and definitely no nudie bath roughhousing. (Christ this is hard to talk about without it sounding inaccurately freaky deaky!)
And as a parent I’m gradually withdrawing my nudity around my own kid, not making anything a big deal or shameful, just being conscious of it and being a bit more demure with towels, underwear on ASAP etc.
totally respect that choice brittany! and i think there's just very wide local and cultural variation to so many norms like this, especially for little kids.
My son is turning 7 and it’s so interesting to see this develop. He started asking for privacy with one grandparent but not with us yet. At my parents’ house, which he considers his second home, he’ll strip naked when we get back from the beach so not to track sand in the house. He’s quite happy to have my parents go in to rinse his hair while he’s in the shower. They live in Portugal though, so there is very little pearl clutching about a kid changing on the beach etc. I find it really nice, even the grannies are in bikinis, and no one bars an eye. I’ll pull a T-shirt on before he climbs in bed with us, but will change in front of him. We are just following his lead and trying to make it neutral as possible.
I hope you put some of your amazing advice columns behind a paywall so folks become paid backers!! The most enticing advice columns often convert well.
I agree with all of this and included a section on it in my book. We bathed 4 in a tub until we could no longer fit or our kids were over it. I think taking the child's lead is important because there's no need to sexualize bodies in contexts that are not sexual (changing, walking from the shower to your closet, etc). Some of my favorite memories come from the days of running around after a bath with my little brother singing, "the nudies, the nudies, we are the nudies!" So sorry about the Romper column. Major bummer :(
Love that you are bringing your anti-advice column here. There is so much talent at Romper, it's so sad--bring all the good stuff and reconfigure into something new on Substack.
Love this advice and wholeheartedly agree. There is so much shame around being naked and bodies, generally. Particularly as kids get older and their bodies start changing.
I’d rather take their lead, while also gently reminding them that they get to decide when to be naked and who to be naked around. It’s a lot healthier than constantly telling them to cover up or making them feel weird about being naked.
I took a shower with my 5 year old this morning. My 8 and 11 year old no longer do this almost ever. They like their own space in the shower and that’s fine. I do most days, too.
Love this advice column. Sorry about your old one. Really tough to be freelance these days.
I enjoyed reading this, despite having aged out of having a naked child running around (or in her case, sitting on a heat register.) Sorry to hear about your job loss but happy that you've decided to move your Q and A column to Momspreading. Any chance we can access previous columns?
Thanks for your interest Nan, they're all here:
https://www.romper.com/good-enough-parent
Re the park, or any public place - I just wouldn’t. My worldview is coloured by being a former crime reporter but given everyone has camera phones I think it’s better to be safer in public. Yes most people are generally good but let’s also be safe here.
But full Rudie Nudie at home is fine!
No Rudie Nudie at friends’ houses though - shared baths with supervision are okay but nothing too silly and full on and definitely no nudie bath roughhousing. (Christ this is hard to talk about without it sounding inaccurately freaky deaky!)
And as a parent I’m gradually withdrawing my nudity around my own kid, not making anything a big deal or shameful, just being conscious of it and being a bit more demure with towels, underwear on ASAP etc.
that makes sense to me! i think for most parents, "public" in this sense comes up more in like being with extended family or a friends house, etc.
Right there's no way I'd let my kids run around naked in a public park. Who does that??
totally respect that choice brittany! and i think there's just very wide local and cultural variation to so many norms like this, especially for little kids.
Yep, when we head to the beach in southern Europe, kids under 5 are often naked.
My son is turning 7 and it’s so interesting to see this develop. He started asking for privacy with one grandparent but not with us yet. At my parents’ house, which he considers his second home, he’ll strip naked when we get back from the beach so not to track sand in the house. He’s quite happy to have my parents go in to rinse his hair while he’s in the shower. They live in Portugal though, so there is very little pearl clutching about a kid changing on the beach etc. I find it really nice, even the grannies are in bikinis, and no one bars an eye. I’ll pull a T-shirt on before he climbs in bed with us, but will change in front of him. We are just following his lead and trying to make it neutral as possible.
I hope you put some of your amazing advice columns behind a paywall so folks become paid backers!! The most enticing advice columns often convert well.