love this, and the vasectomy cake is everything. One of the loveliest examples of friendship between adult men that I've seen in a looong time (if not ever) and notable because it seems so rare. Men buying each other cakes! This is how we are going to crush the patriarchy!
one pun cake at a time!!! maybe as part of your book launch we should offer a specialty line of signature cakes? "there's too much 'I' in incel"? "gamers need love too"? I'll punch these up a bit.
i love the vasectomy cake. i should have made one for my husband when he got his vasectomy, since it was easily the best gift he has ever given me. but given that i was pregnant for a 3rd time (thanks to a birth control fail) when he got his vasectomy, the best i could do was drive him to and from the medical center where he got the procedure done.
last night i was sitting and chatting with a bunch of other women in my neighborhood. one of them asked if we'd ever consider getting our tubes tied. i said (as i always do), just tell your husband to get a vasectomy. the procedure is easy -- they only need local anesthesia, the recovery time is quick, and it's more often covered by insurance (while tubal ligation is not),
loved this whole piece, too. the idea that men deserve more options then 2 not so great ones and that the responsibility of choosing if/when to reproduce should be more broadly shared.
I also started baking in grad school. I'm thrilled that my elder kid has recently picked up the hobby with some of her friends. My creations have always been delicious yet homely. Hers are creative, with both the designs and the flavors (strawberry-chocolate-peppermint?).
that's so sweet. i baked with my nieces and now they are skilled teens. both my kids can separate an egg, and im taking that as my parenting oscar! but usually i have to fight the urge to kick them out of the kitchen :)
I never realized how much emotional weight birth control carries for women. The mutual support in family planning struck me. It's about sharing the burden. Men stepping up would make a huge difference. Amazing work! 🌟👏
i actually feel like a lot of friends warned me that i would resent his anguish at something so small compared to my bodily sacrifices. and im kind of a dick, so i expected that too. but it was very different!
Now ask me how I felt about him being too embarrassed to go jizz in a cup at the hospital and complete the entire testing process. (he ultimately did it via mail, ie a technicality)
I'm also remembering now he did a lot of reading online on BabyCenter type sites including from/about men who thought this was taking away their manhood. So I was more appreciative in a way knowing he also went through the whole hell of the online discourse over that shit.
Love this idea of bridging the divide, Sarah! Feels very hopeful. I was on that injection too and it killed my (then) 20-year-libido and my relationship in the process. Of course, it didn’t occur to me until later that it was not my body, it was the meds.
Holy moly it really only just occurred to me in the last few months that my libido issues for years and years could have to do with all of this. I didn't even mention that side effect. Geez
love this, and the vasectomy cake is everything. One of the loveliest examples of friendship between adult men that I've seen in a looong time (if not ever) and notable because it seems so rare. Men buying each other cakes! This is how we are going to crush the patriarchy!
one pun cake at a time!!! maybe as part of your book launch we should offer a specialty line of signature cakes? "there's too much 'I' in incel"? "gamers need love too"? I'll punch these up a bit.
Hahha yes! Have just spent way too long thinking of more and failed miserably so I will bow to your genius and eat the cake!
BALLS VOYAGE. I will never get over that.
LOVE
thanks sara with no H (said with respect)
🫡
i love the vasectomy cake. i should have made one for my husband when he got his vasectomy, since it was easily the best gift he has ever given me. but given that i was pregnant for a 3rd time (thanks to a birth control fail) when he got his vasectomy, the best i could do was drive him to and from the medical center where he got the procedure done.
last night i was sitting and chatting with a bunch of other women in my neighborhood. one of them asked if we'd ever consider getting our tubes tied. i said (as i always do), just tell your husband to get a vasectomy. the procedure is easy -- they only need local anesthesia, the recovery time is quick, and it's more often covered by insurance (while tubal ligation is not),
loved this whole piece, too. the idea that men deserve more options then 2 not so great ones and that the responsibility of choosing if/when to reproduce should be more broadly shared.
I also started baking in grad school. I'm thrilled that my elder kid has recently picked up the hobby with some of her friends. My creations have always been delicious yet homely. Hers are creative, with both the designs and the flavors (strawberry-chocolate-peppermint?).
that's so sweet. i baked with my nieces and now they are skilled teens. both my kids can separate an egg, and im taking that as my parenting oscar! but usually i have to fight the urge to kick them out of the kitchen :)
I never realized how much emotional weight birth control carries for women. The mutual support in family planning struck me. It's about sharing the burden. Men stepping up would make a huge difference. Amazing work! 🌟👏
vasectomies for all!!
I never was as nice to my husband when he was ailing as when he recovered post-vasectomy.
i actually feel like a lot of friends warned me that i would resent his anguish at something so small compared to my bodily sacrifices. and im kind of a dick, so i expected that too. but it was very different!
Now ask me how I felt about him being too embarrassed to go jizz in a cup at the hospital and complete the entire testing process. (he ultimately did it via mail, ie a technicality)
I'm also remembering now he did a lot of reading online on BabyCenter type sites including from/about men who thought this was taking away their manhood. So I was more appreciative in a way knowing he also went through the whole hell of the online discourse over that shit.
Yes, tracking the online discourse is a form of sharing the mental load
Love this idea of bridging the divide, Sarah! Feels very hopeful. I was on that injection too and it killed my (then) 20-year-libido and my relationship in the process. Of course, it didn’t occur to me until later that it was not my body, it was the meds.
Holy moly it really only just occurred to me in the last few months that my libido issues for years and years could have to do with all of this. I didn't even mention that side effect. Geez