One of the hardest things this many months in is explaining differential behaviors by different families to my kids. We'll say something isn't safe and that's why we're not doing it, and then they'll hear that another family is getting to do that very same thing. It's confusing to them (and us!) and hard to explain that everyone is doing the best they can, but also not feel or convey some judgment about it all.
That's such a great example of the nitty gritty of this all. And I think, not to be a "silver linings" kind of dork, a good opportunity to talk to kids about how different families have different beliefs and resources. I remember like week 2 of lockdown this one kid playing on the playground and struggling with what to say. I think I landed on something like "I love you more than that dad loves his kid." Jk. All hard.
Notably, when my kids ask me why they can't play on the playground I say "there's this mom in Oakland who loves her kids a ton and while I'm not there yet with y'all I'm trying to get on her level."
FWIW, I actually think the playground is pretty safe? I mean, you want masks and not too many kids and all, but there's only very brief proximity to others, and it's outside.
Thanks, I realized that I haven't sat my kids down to talk about the virus since literally March. At this point I think they're pretty unsure what value I'm adding at all to the family!
This is so helpful! I am realizing I have sort of just decided to say 'well we don't know' after any proclamation regarding the future or life as we know it. That has been the sum total of my conversations with my teenagers of late, and the truth is, they do have more to say. My 17 year-old however now HATES that everything gets tied back to the virus. The idea that everything that is challenging etc. is completely attached to this annoys her to no end. Some things would be hard anyway she says, everything is not 'because of the virus' (applying to college for example). I do know that when I remember to check in and let my 14 year-old son just talk about how hard it has been to start high school on line and how challenging it is to try to understand your Spanish teacher as he is cutting in and out, he seems relieved. Reminding him that this is not great, what he is doing is not expected nor necesarily anything but a complete gf he has to get through, he seems to appreciate it.
Thanks for this. It's so true especially the older kids are having to "buck up" with the adults so much. But they are moving "in and out of grief" as well.
One of the hardest things this many months in is explaining differential behaviors by different families to my kids. We'll say something isn't safe and that's why we're not doing it, and then they'll hear that another family is getting to do that very same thing. It's confusing to them (and us!) and hard to explain that everyone is doing the best they can, but also not feel or convey some judgment about it all.
That's such a great example of the nitty gritty of this all. And I think, not to be a "silver linings" kind of dork, a good opportunity to talk to kids about how different families have different beliefs and resources. I remember like week 2 of lockdown this one kid playing on the playground and struggling with what to say. I think I landed on something like "I love you more than that dad loves his kid." Jk. All hard.
Notably, when my kids ask me why they can't play on the playground I say "there's this mom in Oakland who loves her kids a ton and while I'm not there yet with y'all I'm trying to get on her level."
FWIW, I actually think the playground is pretty safe? I mean, you want masks and not too many kids and all, but there's only very brief proximity to others, and it's outside.
Thanks, I realized that I haven't sat my kids down to talk about the virus since literally March. At this point I think they're pretty unsure what value I'm adding at all to the family!
PS: what is K-W-L?
Sorry to get all education jargon-y :)
It's a kind of three column chart where you say what you Know Wonder and have Learned about a subject
This is so helpful! I am realizing I have sort of just decided to say 'well we don't know' after any proclamation regarding the future or life as we know it. That has been the sum total of my conversations with my teenagers of late, and the truth is, they do have more to say. My 17 year-old however now HATES that everything gets tied back to the virus. The idea that everything that is challenging etc. is completely attached to this annoys her to no end. Some things would be hard anyway she says, everything is not 'because of the virus' (applying to college for example). I do know that when I remember to check in and let my 14 year-old son just talk about how hard it has been to start high school on line and how challenging it is to try to understand your Spanish teacher as he is cutting in and out, he seems relieved. Reminding him that this is not great, what he is doing is not expected nor necesarily anything but a complete gf he has to get through, he seems to appreciate it.
Thanks for this. It's so true especially the older kids are having to "buck up" with the adults so much. But they are moving "in and out of grief" as well.