I feel this all so hard. Thank you for writing it.
As a NYC native, I was a longtime (I once thought lifelong) tiny-home dweller. Even when we moved north to Westchester, we lived in a cozy 2BR apartment…even once we got to three kids. Now, we live in a house that is giant for our village, though (I tell myself) definitely considered “midsize” by current suburban standards overall. I feel shame at times over the size of this house, like it says something about me. But the reality is, with four kids, and one parent who works quite a lot from home in very space-intensive ways (construction/architectural drawings, etc), it just….works so well for us. The younger kids still fight seemingly nonstop, but each of them having their own bedrooms to retreat to is an invaluable investment in my own sanity. Having a living room with enough space to roll a yoga mat out and do some morning stretches (without having to move furniture) is heaven. Having a playroom where all errant toys can go, even if they are just waiting on the floor until we do a clean-up, is life-changing. Having a backyard that, for all its faults, has room for a trampoline and some portable soccer goals and a small garden – it's not a “need,” but it definitely DOES make life easier. We went through the pandemic with a preschooler and a toddler and no backyard, and maybe I was just scarred by that experience, but my love of our current house is far greater than my guilt/shame over its size.
thanks for sharing this all ally! one question im mulling over is, is there any way i can use this space to also benefit my community? thinking about a monthly meal or the like. your yoga mat space DOES sound like heaven. maybe with a lower case h, but STILL :)
And rest in peace, Steve. His book changed so much of how I understood neurodiversity and really flipped a lot of what my training had taught me, he really was an amazing human.
Thank you so much for the link to Steve Silberman’s book and Ted Talk! I just watched the Ted Talk, and wow! Definitely going to be buying his book! Me and all of my children are neurospicey!
Oh I'm so glad! There's also a great NPR interview with him. The book is big but an entertaining read. I'd love to hear your take on it when you're done!
I can only imagine the what it might have been like to enjoy the economic stability necessary to not be forced out of that cozy little apartment, or into homelessness, by the merciless neurotypical world of socioeconomic exclusion that fires right around the point where you've gotten caught back up to zero, and takes six months to hire you no matter how skilled you've proven yourself to be.
So much here that resonates — it’s making me wonder what kind of person I’d be if I hadn’t spent the last 16 years inside this one-bedroom apartment. These two kids are certainly not getting any smaller and whoever designed peri-menopause to coincide with pre-teendom is an actual demon. Tbd on how it all goes…🫠
Congrats on your new home. Sending you sweet dreams of empty shelves and extra closets!
I’m in the middle of moving (old house sold, living in airbnbs) and in midst of deciding to live in a cool, urban townhouse with my kids or a more suburban, spacious house with a yard. I feel this post.
I feel this all so hard. Thank you for writing it.
As a NYC native, I was a longtime (I once thought lifelong) tiny-home dweller. Even when we moved north to Westchester, we lived in a cozy 2BR apartment…even once we got to three kids. Now, we live in a house that is giant for our village, though (I tell myself) definitely considered “midsize” by current suburban standards overall. I feel shame at times over the size of this house, like it says something about me. But the reality is, with four kids, and one parent who works quite a lot from home in very space-intensive ways (construction/architectural drawings, etc), it just….works so well for us. The younger kids still fight seemingly nonstop, but each of them having their own bedrooms to retreat to is an invaluable investment in my own sanity. Having a living room with enough space to roll a yoga mat out and do some morning stretches (without having to move furniture) is heaven. Having a playroom where all errant toys can go, even if they are just waiting on the floor until we do a clean-up, is life-changing. Having a backyard that, for all its faults, has room for a trampoline and some portable soccer goals and a small garden – it's not a “need,” but it definitely DOES make life easier. We went through the pandemic with a preschooler and a toddler and no backyard, and maybe I was just scarred by that experience, but my love of our current house is far greater than my guilt/shame over its size.
thanks for sharing this all ally! one question im mulling over is, is there any way i can use this space to also benefit my community? thinking about a monthly meal or the like. your yoga mat space DOES sound like heaven. maybe with a lower case h, but STILL :)
This was beautitful, Sarah.
And rest in peace, Steve. His book changed so much of how I understood neurodiversity and really flipped a lot of what my training had taught me, he really was an amazing human.
Lovely! And yay!
I enjoyed this. I love and need my space!
Thank you so much for the link to Steve Silberman’s book and Ted Talk! I just watched the Ted Talk, and wow! Definitely going to be buying his book! Me and all of my children are neurospicey!
Oh I'm so glad! There's also a great NPR interview with him. The book is big but an entertaining read. I'd love to hear your take on it when you're done!
I can only imagine the what it might have been like to enjoy the economic stability necessary to not be forced out of that cozy little apartment, or into homelessness, by the merciless neurotypical world of socioeconomic exclusion that fires right around the point where you've gotten caught back up to zero, and takes six months to hire you no matter how skilled you've proven yourself to be.
You are giving me Feelings™️!
So much here that resonates — it’s making me wonder what kind of person I’d be if I hadn’t spent the last 16 years inside this one-bedroom apartment. These two kids are certainly not getting any smaller and whoever designed peri-menopause to coincide with pre-teendom is an actual demon. Tbd on how it all goes…🫠
Congrats on your new home. Sending you sweet dreams of empty shelves and extra closets!
This is so beautiful!
I’m in the middle of moving (old house sold, living in airbnbs) and in midst of deciding to live in a cool, urban townhouse with my kids or a more suburban, spacious house with a yard. I feel this post.