Hi Sarah. I think this is a cool idea. Since you're asking...thanks for your honesty and your beautiful writing! Your post on ADHD was kind of revelatory for me and was part of a constellation of events that led to my 16 year-old daughter being identified as neurodiverse, specifically, inattentive ADHD. This was such a relief -- it explained so much (about her father as well!!) -- but since then we are struggling with how to live with it. It's great to know but so far hasn't actually changed her day to day struggles (and ours with her). Like, I get that her brain works differently than some regarding the concept of time, but the bus still leaves at a particular time so being able to move a little faster is sometimes necessary! Anyway, I'm rambling, but I'd welcome further reflections from you on living/parenting with ADHD. Thanks!
Woohoo, permission to ask all the questions! What should I be asking in a parent-teacher conference? And how to interpret the information shared by the teacher? Just had my first parent teacher conference and the teacher assigned a level/rating to my kiddo. It felt so abstract and I think I just asked "is she where she should be?" How do I manage my daughter's burgeoning social life with my desire to keep it chill, minimize shlepping and not depriortize my needs? Same goes with after school activities, sports, classes. I failed to sign her up for soccer and am feeling guilt and relief and a slight fear that I've ruined her chances to play on the USWNT (I'm a lifelong soccer player). How do I know when I've settled into my parenting style and how important is it to have a parenting style? Thank you for this generous invitation to pick your wonderful brain :)
Hi Sarah! I just found you through a Romper article about Emily Oster -thanks for articulating feelings I was only subconsciously aware of. More importantly, thanks for making me laugh. I'm excited to to read through your archives. Maybe you've already answered this question/talked about this somewhere else....but my baby is only 8 months old and I've already put a strange internal pressure on myself to decide whether or not we should have a second kid. I've even put a moratorium on the conversation until our kid is 2 yrs old AND YET I find myself thinking 'is this the last time you're going to do this/experience this cute baby thing? should you be sad now? are you kidding yourself - you're probably going to have another one of these?' But also, if I were to make a pro/con list, there are very few logical reasons to have another kid and a whole bunch of good reasons to just keep it to one. Then there's a few big emotional reasons to have two - like who is going to take care of me when I'm old? What might it feel like to not feel so alone in the world? Maybe I should add that I'm also an only child? I don't know. How did you make this decision? Do you ever regret it?
Hi Sarah-- I love your writing and I really appreciate that you are opening things up for more Q & A. I'm wondering about my ten-year-olds...they have vivid imaginations and love to engage in imaginative play with each other and their stuffies. I get how meaningful this can be as they try to explore their ideas about the world with a little bit of psychological space. However, a lot of the time this stuff drives me completely bananas. For example, my daughter's stuffy will pick a fight with her brother's stuffy, so now in addition to listening to them argue with each other 24/7, I have to hear the exaggerated and high-pitched arguments of their stuffed animal entourage?!? Or they'll "role-play" like they're in a Roblox server, but not notify any of the adults that this is what's going on, leading me to feel like they've been abducted by aliens and I have no idea whether to respond as if I know that they're role-playing (when I do this they get mad because I'm not taking them seriously) or to play the straight man (which can be exhausting because I have no idea what they're going on about or the social nuances and expectations of this particular scenario). Does this make sense? Do anyone else's kids do this? Will they outgrow this phase???
How can I not be a controlling, creativity-killer while living in a small house with very messy children? How can I stop making empty, inorganic threats? (I think this might be one of the worst parts of my parenting default.) I have bouts of worry that I am not involving my kids in enough activities (soccer, swimming lessons etc)., but I also don't want to spend my life carpooling or organizing my weekend's around them. Knowing you won't give me a shallow Emily Oster answer, but a big ass Sarah Wheeler answer: how do I find the right balance? So. Many. More.
Hi Sarah. I think this is a cool idea. Since you're asking...thanks for your honesty and your beautiful writing! Your post on ADHD was kind of revelatory for me and was part of a constellation of events that led to my 16 year-old daughter being identified as neurodiverse, specifically, inattentive ADHD. This was such a relief -- it explained so much (about her father as well!!) -- but since then we are struggling with how to live with it. It's great to know but so far hasn't actually changed her day to day struggles (and ours with her). Like, I get that her brain works differently than some regarding the concept of time, but the bus still leaves at a particular time so being able to move a little faster is sometimes necessary! Anyway, I'm rambling, but I'd welcome further reflections from you on living/parenting with ADHD. Thanks!
I like this idea..
Could be interesting starting off place...go for it!
Woohoo, permission to ask all the questions! What should I be asking in a parent-teacher conference? And how to interpret the information shared by the teacher? Just had my first parent teacher conference and the teacher assigned a level/rating to my kiddo. It felt so abstract and I think I just asked "is she where she should be?" How do I manage my daughter's burgeoning social life with my desire to keep it chill, minimize shlepping and not depriortize my needs? Same goes with after school activities, sports, classes. I failed to sign her up for soccer and am feeling guilt and relief and a slight fear that I've ruined her chances to play on the USWNT (I'm a lifelong soccer player). How do I know when I've settled into my parenting style and how important is it to have a parenting style? Thank you for this generous invitation to pick your wonderful brain :)
Hi Sarah! I just found you through a Romper article about Emily Oster -thanks for articulating feelings I was only subconsciously aware of. More importantly, thanks for making me laugh. I'm excited to to read through your archives. Maybe you've already answered this question/talked about this somewhere else....but my baby is only 8 months old and I've already put a strange internal pressure on myself to decide whether or not we should have a second kid. I've even put a moratorium on the conversation until our kid is 2 yrs old AND YET I find myself thinking 'is this the last time you're going to do this/experience this cute baby thing? should you be sad now? are you kidding yourself - you're probably going to have another one of these?' But also, if I were to make a pro/con list, there are very few logical reasons to have another kid and a whole bunch of good reasons to just keep it to one. Then there's a few big emotional reasons to have two - like who is going to take care of me when I'm old? What might it feel like to not feel so alone in the world? Maybe I should add that I'm also an only child? I don't know. How did you make this decision? Do you ever regret it?
Hi Sarah-- I love your writing and I really appreciate that you are opening things up for more Q & A. I'm wondering about my ten-year-olds...they have vivid imaginations and love to engage in imaginative play with each other and their stuffies. I get how meaningful this can be as they try to explore their ideas about the world with a little bit of psychological space. However, a lot of the time this stuff drives me completely bananas. For example, my daughter's stuffy will pick a fight with her brother's stuffy, so now in addition to listening to them argue with each other 24/7, I have to hear the exaggerated and high-pitched arguments of their stuffed animal entourage?!? Or they'll "role-play" like they're in a Roblox server, but not notify any of the adults that this is what's going on, leading me to feel like they've been abducted by aliens and I have no idea whether to respond as if I know that they're role-playing (when I do this they get mad because I'm not taking them seriously) or to play the straight man (which can be exhausting because I have no idea what they're going on about or the social nuances and expectations of this particular scenario). Does this make sense? Do anyone else's kids do this? Will they outgrow this phase???
How can I not be a controlling, creativity-killer while living in a small house with very messy children? How can I stop making empty, inorganic threats? (I think this might be one of the worst parts of my parenting default.) I have bouts of worry that I am not involving my kids in enough activities (soccer, swimming lessons etc)., but I also don't want to spend my life carpooling or organizing my weekend's around them. Knowing you won't give me a shallow Emily Oster answer, but a big ass Sarah Wheeler answer: how do I find the right balance? So. Many. More.