I also wonder how much of is this is how many fucks do we give about OUR kids and how many fucks to we give about ALL kids. That's been a big relief for me. When I start to get neoliberal anxiety about my kids' achievement and then try to widen the lens, it's always a great rush of relief. Part of what feels so rotten about giving too many fucks is that you know, on some level, that it's too small and selfish compared to your real heart.
I like how fucks, here, seem to echo the disability framework of spoons. I'm low on spoons is congruent to I'm low on fucks. I will not spend a spoon on this person's bullshit seems just about right a lot of the time. But this piece I spent a spoon on. And am happy I did.
"...you are supposed to give a lot of fucks about boundaries and limits, but you are also supposed to set them in a really nice voice and respect and honor all of your child’s feelings about them. I believe you could call this approach 'neo-liberal' parenting, and though it packages itself as being somewhat laidback, it actually requires a high level of intensity and fanaticism to perform." <-- THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING THIS TRUTH. With love, A Parent Who Does Not Have That High Level of Intensity and Fanaticism 24-7
I also wonder how much of is this is how many fucks do we give about OUR kids and how many fucks to we give about ALL kids. That's been a big relief for me. When I start to get neoliberal anxiety about my kids' achievement and then try to widen the lens, it's always a great rush of relief. Part of what feels so rotten about giving too many fucks is that you know, on some level, that it's too small and selfish compared to your real heart.
Excellent post - and, here's a TEDx talk about creating a f*ck budget: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwRzjFQa_Og
I like how fucks, here, seem to echo the disability framework of spoons. I'm low on spoons is congruent to I'm low on fucks. I will not spend a spoon on this person's bullshit seems just about right a lot of the time. But this piece I spent a spoon on. And am happy I did.
"...you are supposed to give a lot of fucks about boundaries and limits, but you are also supposed to set them in a really nice voice and respect and honor all of your child’s feelings about them. I believe you could call this approach 'neo-liberal' parenting, and though it packages itself as being somewhat laidback, it actually requires a high level of intensity and fanaticism to perform." <-- THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING THIS TRUTH. With love, A Parent Who Does Not Have That High Level of Intensity and Fanaticism 24-7
> Or the ones who rarely track their kid’s whereabouts or follow-up on how they’re doing in school beyond reading their report cards.
As a parent who frequently isn't tracking my 11 year old's whereabouts, I want to highly recommend also not reading your kid's report cards