6 Comments

Just a fellow parent (to twin daughters) here, standing behind a tree that is too small to hide me, feeling all of this so very much.

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Sep 5, 2022Liked by Sarah Wheeler

I have two children, raised the same way, who turned out very differently in appearance and very similar in values and critical thinking. We stressed curiosity, love of learning, wear whatever you want from your drawers. Both had yellow and green onesies, any "gender" diapers, homemade/used Halloween costumes and store bought characters (any gender). They always picked Barbie dolls at the thrift stores and then brought them home and gave them punk haircuts and painted them with nail polish (all over!). Both, as young adults, now play with gender, despite their identity differences - one is heterosexual, cisgender and the other lesbian, gender nonconforming. I say, when they are little, bring it all home, see what they choose and let them experiment. Provide praise for creativity and experimentation. Peggy Orenstein binary be damned... My two cents. -- Old Mom down the street

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Sep 5, 2022Liked by Sarah Wheeler

Thank you for this. I feel you. My 17 year old adhd kid has gone through many clothing stages, including the tutus. Now she dresses kinda goth and I happened to notice this morning that her drawn on converse high tops had “fuck the patriarchy” written across the side. I don’t think I taught that quite so explicitly but somewhere she picked it up. So there’s that. Good thing is I think these younger generations are way savvier about what media of all kinds are doing to them then we were - or at least than I was. Also, she really enjoyed the baking snippet and we are here for your cookbook! Gorgeous cake too. I want the cookbook for the recipe AND the stories!

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Aug 24, 2022Liked by Sarah Wheeler

Whooo, there's so much here that resonates with me, with my parenting two girls. Of course I don't have experience as a woman with body image and the contradictions of femininity and women's roles. What's been tough for me is wanting them to learn to be poised, polite, and personable -- without these pressures making them meek, deferent, subservient.

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Parenting, man. The highest stakes, the lowest visibility. NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.

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